two ways
by natalie3008
Summary: bella do not jump of a cliff. edward come's back to check up on her whitout her knowing. he looks in her window but see's another vampire in bella's bed. what is he going to do? god that sucked the story's better then it seem's. ExB N ?
1. Chapter 1

**Two ways **

Chapter 1

.

"_You...don't....want...me?" "No."_

It kept repeating itself in my head when I looked at the picture of Edward. I had found the picture and the cd Edward had made to me, whit my lullaby and esme's favorite song on it.

He had hid it under the floor board right before he had left. I was confused, he had said it would be as if he never existed but how would I forget him if he left he's song's and a picture of him whit me? I didn't want to look at the picture of him it was to painful but I couldn't stop. I was defiantly going to

Pay for this in my nightmares.

I put the stuff into a bag and put it into my closet as long away so i couldn't see it.

Jake would be here any moment now he would make me feel better, stop thinking about him.

Just as I thought that, there was a knock on the door. I ran down the stairs an opened the door "what's up bells" Jake said smiling while walking in "not much" I said trying to sound happy but it just didn't come out that way, Jake turned to look at me and stopped eating he's apple "what's wrong bells?"

"it's nothing Jake, you know I just get a little blue when am all by myself" I said smiling weakly "well am here now so cheer up alright and let's get these stupid homework done so we can do something that's interesting" he said grinning "yeah let's get this over whit" I said and laid down on the floor whit my math book. Jake did the same, and so we started our homework.

We did that every Saturday.


	2. meeting the vampires

Chapter 2

Bella's point of view.

I sat in my truck in the school parking lot about to go out when a fancy car came driving right beside me so it made me stop to look, there had only been one family that was driving that expensive cars in this city but this wasn't the same car it was a black sleek BMW.

I couldn't stop staring, who was it? That's when three people got out of car, it was two guys and one girl, she had light brown hair with beautiful curls that went to her waist, she took the one guy's hand, he had very short black hair, and then there was the last guy he was walking behind them, he had maghoni brown hair a little messy.

They were all very beautiful but I noticed then that they were all also very white, very pale skin, it reminded me of someone but I didn't want to think the name.

I got out of the truck and started walking into class.

When I got in there the guy I saw in the parking lot the one with the maghoni hair sat next to my chair, it was the only one left, I had been sitting alone since _they _left.

I sat down next to him but didn't look up from my book's,

"hello" he said I looked up at him an the first thing I noticed was he's topaz eyes, OMG HE'S A VAMPIRE.


	3. the talk

Chapter 3

Bella's point of view.

I kept staring at he's face totally forgetting that I should say something

"ummm hi"

Was all I could get out, I quickly looked down at my books again I could feel he was still looking at me probably thinking I was being weird, I guess I also was but I was just so shocked.

"I'm Noah" he then said expecting me to answer him but the sound of he's voice was just so hypnotizing that I totally forgot to listen to what he was asking about. It took me a while to snap out of it but then I turned and looked at him again.

"Bella" I said then smiled halfheartedly it was like having a déjà vu'.

He smiled at me and then turned to look at the teacher who was talking something about DNA I had no idea what he said I couldn't focus on it.

The hour went by slowly when the class was over Noah turned to me and said

"I am new here do you think you could possibly show me where the cafeteria is?"

"Umm yeah sure" I said.

We walked together down the hall none of us said anything when I decided that I would confront him whit my knowledge, not knowing how he would react to me accusing him of being a vampire I was really nervous.

I pulled him outside where there weren't anybody, looked at him for a while and saw the confused look on he's face

"Umm am pretty sure this isn't the cafeteria" he said trying to be funny.

"I know what you are" it just came out without me thinking it over.

"I'm what?" he said whit narrowed eyes

"A... vampire" I said I was really nervous now. he looked shocked and confused wondering what to say to that

"Excuse me?"

"I know you are a vampire I've met some before and I can tell you're one so don't deny it" I said wanting him to admit it so I could believe it myself.

"I need to go" he then said and was gone before I could stop him. I just stood there shocked over what had happened to my day, I woke up from my typical nightmare and thinks' it's just going to be another boring day and then suddenly am standing in front of a vampire, I couldn't believe it, I just couldn't wrap my head around it.

I looked up and then three vampires were standing I front of me staring, and before I could blink one of them put's me on their back and run in vampire speed, no one in school would notice anything because it went so fast no human eyes would see it.

Suddenly I was in the wood's with three vampires staring me down I was scared, are they going to kill me?

"How did you know?" the dark haired guy asked

"I...I umm well there lived um others here before you, and we were very close" I said the last part looking down feeling the pain when I thought of them.

"You were friends with other vampires?" the girl asked

"They were more like a family to me" I said pained

"They wouldn't hurt me they don't drink humans blood"

"Ooh there were other vampires that has a conscience in the exact same little town as us, small world" she said seeming amused by the thought of how little the world can be, I on the other hand didn't thought it was very funny.

"Yes" I said

"Well were are they now then?" Noah asked

"They left" I said, I could feel it hurting in my eyes, I was about to cry.

"Why did they live you behind if you were like family?" he asked

"It's... a long story" I said looking down by the thought of them leaving because of _he_ didn't love me anymore.

While I was looking down at the ground I could feel a tear falling down on my cheek, great now I was crying like a little baby in front of three strangers

"Why are you crying?" Noah asked and came over to me and whipped the tear away

"It's nothing" I said stepping away, feeling uncomfortable

"Alright then maybe we could talk some more after school?" Noah asked smiling sweet at me that calmed me down

"Umm okay" I said

"Good. Well we better get back to school then" he said and with that he took me in he's arms and began to run.


	4. painful memories

Chapter 4

Bella's point of view.

We got back to school and went into the cafeteria.

"Bella will you sit with us?" Noah asked smiling at me so I started to stare again, he really was quite beautiful.

"Oh um yeah sure" I said walking over to their table and sat down, I didn't want to look over to were jess and Angela was sitting they were probably curious who they were.

"I'm Marie and this is my mate Oliver" She said

"Hi" was all I could come up with.

"I have the feeling we are going to get along well" she said smiling from ear to ear and then looked at Noah and then back at me, Noah looked down at the table he looked kind of embarrassed ?

"Umm okay" I said

"So you want to come to our house after school then?" she asked smiling, I supposed I didn't have anything better to do since am not hanging out with Jacob and I hate being alone with my thought's

"Um yeah sure" I said giving a little smile

"Great" she smiled.

After school I went out of my math class when mike Newton came up to me.

"Hey Bella what's up, who were those new people you were with?" he looked at me sort of a little annoyed but trying to hide it with a smile.

"Oh umm that's just the new student's here" I said looking straight forward trying to give him the message that I wasn't up for talking right now.

"What's their name?" he asked

"Marie and Oliver and umm Noah" I said looking down at the floor

"Hmm okay, are you going to hang out with them now? cause if not me and the others are going to the beach for some surfing" he said looking hopeful, even if I weren't busy I would have tried to get out of it, not only is it freezing cold am also pretty sure it's going to rain later, and besides I just don't feel like having him running after me all day.

"Oh umm sorry mike I already have plans, but maybe some other day okay?"

He looked a little mad but made a little smile.

"Oh alright yeah some other day I'll hold you on that haha" he said

"Haha okay" I said giving him a fake smile.

I walked over to my truck when Noah came up to me

"Hey Bella weren't you coming with us today?" he said smiling a little, looking nervous

"Oh um yeah I just need to get my truck home first" I said blushing, why was I blushing it's not like he asked me a very personal question?

"Oh okay I'll come with you then and then we'll go to my house" he said smiling nervously like he wanted my approval.

"Okay" that's all I could say, I was staring at he's eyes again, he really was rather beautiful.

After we had arrived at my house we got out and then I stood there remembering that he didn't have a car with him.

"Umm what now?" I asked him.

"Well we're going to run if you don't mind?"

"Guess not"

Then he took me in he's arm's and looked me in the eyes then smiled at me and then began to run.

After a few minutes later we stopped in front of a big house, it looked more like an old castle, little for a castle big for a house. He smiled at me and then took my hand, I didn't object.

"Come on" he said and we walked inside.

When we came into the living room I looked around it looked so homey, so warm it was really welcoming, there was a fire place and a wall full of books and a big black leather couch were Marie and Oliver was sitting. I was just standing by the door with an open mouth looking around like an idiot.

"Bella come sit down" Marie smiled; her excitement over such little things reminded me of Alice.

I sat down next to her, and Noah sat in a chair next to the couch.

"So Bella could you tell us who the other vampires were?" Oliver asked, I didn't like to have to talk about them but I guess they deserved to know.

"It was the Cullen's who lived here before"

"Oh okay, how did you get to know them?" Marie asked looking curious

"Ummm well umm I.. Umm was umm kind of uhh"

"Spit it out haha" Marie laughed

"Well I was sort of going out with one of them" I said looking down mostly because of the pain and the stinging in the eyes for having to talk about it.

"Well what happened?" she asked

"…..he stopped loving me" I said right then a tear fell down my cheek and I quickly removed it with my hand.

"Oh honey am so sorry I can't even think about how you must be feeling" Marie said while rubbing my back.

"What was he's name?" Noah asked, sounding angry or irritated couldn't really hear it because of my crying. He had been very quiet until now.

"E... Cullen" I said it was so painful to say his name that I began crying even more.

I felt awful I was so embarrassed and pained at the same time

"Oh sweetie don't cry come with me so we can do something about that face all right" Marie said and took my hand and pulled in to the bathroom.

I had stopped crying now I just looked like a tomato, my cheeks were all reed and so were my eyes.

Marie put some crème in my head it felt nice and cold then a little powder so I didn't look red.

"There all done are you sure you're all right?"

"Yeah am fine it just hurts having to think about them"

"Oh okay, we won't ask about them anymore then" she said and then we walked into the living room again.


	5. edwards hell

Chapter 5

Edward's point of view.

I could hear noise from the street, there was a carnival in the city, and everybody was out celebrating.

Getting drunk and yelling.

I was lying on the floor curled up in a ball in an attic somewhere in Rio. I had left my family; I was just making them depressed.

All I could think about was Bella my sweet beautiful Bella. Her face kept repeating itself in my mind the day I told her goodbye, how sad it looked how shocked she looked. It was torturing.

I had given up trying to live through a week I was just trying to live through the hours now. I wanted so badly to go back to forks, maybe I should just to check that she was okay, to see if she was happy as I meant for her to be, that was why I left.

I couldn't take her life away because she was with such a horrible monster like me.

I just want to see her face to look at her big chocolate eyes to smell her sweet scent. I could just look in her window she wouldn't notice me there just a check up, no I couldn't I promised her, I promised that I would never interfere with her life again. I promised it would be as if I never existed. I promised her that, no matter how painful it was.

She is probably also happy now; it's been five month's, she most has found love again. The thought of her being with someone else felt like someone had just stabbed me with a knife right through my dead heart.

I was just going to have to live in misery; she deserved a life without anything inhuman.

She will get married with someone and have babies and grow old. The thought of her walking down the aisle in a white wedding gown while holding her father's hand made me crumble, I wanted it to be me waiting there for her at the end of the aisle. Getting married with her promise to love her forever and always. No matter what I still will for always, for eternity.

But for her to be happy I would suffer and I would take it.

Bella's point of view.

After spending the day getting to know Marie, Oliver and Noah it was time for me to go home. Noah was driving me home, he drove just as fast as the Cullen's –wince- and before I knew of it we were in my driveway.

"Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow then" I said

"Yes you will unless it will be sunny of course, even though I doubt that thinking it isn't really very often that happens here" he smiled.

"Hmm yeah it doesn't but I guess I've gotten use to that though"

"Use to? Have you lived somewhere else?"

"Yes I used to live in phoenix with my mom until I moved here somewhat a year ago now"

"Oh okay so you miss the sun then?"He looked a little curious not sure why it's not like it's very interesting.

"Sometimes" I said smiling halfheartedly, I only liked the clouds for special reasons but they didn't really count anymore, until Noah and the rest showed up.

"Oh then why did you move here?"

"My mom was going to go on the road with her new husband to support him and I didn't really feel like a road trip haha"

"Haha yeah I guess that can get a little boring, suppose that depends on who you're going with"

"Hmm yeah I guess. Well I should get inside Charlie will be home soon and am making dinner"

I turned to open the car door but then he took my hands in he's so I turned to look at him

"I'll see you tomorrow then" he said and smiled at me whit such a dazzling smile that I was hypnotized, I just sat there holding on to he's hands without saying anything, first a couple of minutes later I woke up from my coma.

"Umm yes see you t.." I stuttered and then blushed. I quickly turned to the car door and went out, I didn't want him to see me blush it was so embarrassing.

He waved at me and then drove of.

I went inside the house to start the cocking.

A little while after I had started making dinner Charlie walked in to the kitchen.

"Hey kid you look happy today did something special happen?"

"Umm no not really" I smiled at him, I haven't even noticed that I've been smiling, guess I've done that since I got out of the car.

"But I did make some new friends today though"

"Oh really, who?"

"There's started some new kid's a school today, their really nice" I said still smiling.

"Oh yeah the Bendix family, I heard their parent's died in a car accident, that's horrible"

"Yeah but their managing it. Oliver is the oldest he's taking care of them"

"Oh well good to know their good people.. So what's for dinner?"

"I'm making lasagna"

"All right then" he said scratching the back of he's head looking uncomfortable for just standing there

"Well there's a game starting"

And with that he walked in to the living room and turned the TV on.


	6. special gift's

Chapter 6

Bella's point of view.

For the first time in five months I didn't have a nightmare, but am sure that wouldn't last.

I went down to get some breakfast. Charlie had already gone to work.

I sat quietly and ate before going to school.

I was kind of looking forward to see the Bendix's but mostly just Noah.

Noah's point of view.

I sat on the couch flipping through the channels on the TV when Marie and Oliver came in the door.

They had been on a hunting trip since last night, I didn't want to come because I didn't want to listen to them talking on and on about me having a crush on Bella.

So I had just stayed home waiting for the morning to come, so I could be with her again.

"Have you just been doing that all night?" Oliver asked

"Uhm no I've done other things to"

"Oh yeah like what?" Marie asked in a playful tone.

"Why do you want to know? It's not like it's very interesting"

"Haha omg you totally lost it, just sitting here thinking about Bella. If she find's out she's going to think you're seriously weird" Oliver said.

"Shut up I'm not just thinking about her okay!"

"Oh please how dumb do you think we are Noah, besides it's not like it's a bad thing it's sweet, I guess. Just don't start talking to her about what you're thinking about cause she's probably just going to fall asleep then" Marie laughed.

"Haha very funny... let's just go to school okay?"

"Yeah so you can see you're girlfriend haha" Oliver said

I slapped him in the back of he's head while we were walking out of the door.

"Shut up"...

Marie turned to look at me, I was sitting on the back seat of the car while Oliver was driving and Marie was of course sitting beside him.

"I can't believe that Cullen kid, how could he do that to her? She's so nice"

"I don't know Marie, I just want to beat the crap out of him for hurting her like that" I said getting angry by the thought of that guy just standing there telling her that he doesn't love her.

"Yeah someone should really kick him in the gut for doing that" Oliver said.

We were driving in to the parking lot now. I turned took look for Bella, she was getting out of her truck she hadn't seen us yet she was just walking in her own world while listening to music from her music player.

Bella's point of view.

I was walking in to the school listening to my iPod, just walking in my own world when suddenly someone put's their hand on my shoulder. I got the biggest shock I started screaming.

"Wow relax Bella it's just me" Noah said laughing.

"Don't do that!" I said yelling.

"Haha sorry"

"Hi Bella, what's up?" Marie asked

"Not much, just only had a heart attack because of Noah"

"I said I was sorry. Anyways to change the subject what are you up to today?"

"Umm well I was going to call me friend Jacob, why?"

"Oh okay just wanted to hang out but I guess we can do it some other day then"

"Um yeah sorry..."

Suddenly they all became silent; I couldn't understand why they all stopped talking just because of that.

Noah and I walked in to biology and sat down on our usual seats next to each other.

"So who's this Jacob guy?" he asked looking rather uninterested

"That's my best friend"

A smile crossed he's face and he looked sort of hopeful?

"Ooh that's nice" he said grinning

"Umm I guess"

"Excuse me miss swan and Mr. Bendix, am I boring you?" the teacher asked looking mad.

"Ummm no" I said embarrassed looking down on the table because I started blushing, everybody was looking at us.

"Stop the talking now or go to the principals office got it?"

"Yes" we said at the same time.

The teacher shot a mean look at us and then returned to he's disk and continued he's teaching.

After class we walked in to the cafeteria and sat by the same table as yesterday.

"So I was just wondering, do you guys have any special powers besides being super strong and all?" I asked

"I can erase memory's, it can really come in handy if you do something you shouldn't" Oliver said smiling

"Did you ever erase my memory?" Marie asked with narrowed eyes

"No of course not babe there's no need I tell you everything you know that"

"You better not... anyways I can't do anything extra, sadly"

"What about you Noah?" I asked

"I can tell peoples intentions"

"Oh that's cool" I said and then got silent. Nobody said anything it felt kind of awkward.

"How did you know about that anyway? Did the last vampires have special gifts?" Oliver asked

"well there were one that could see the future and one that could control you're emotion's and....one that could read mind's" I said the last thing in pain, to be reminded of how he could never read my mind had come up in my head and the thought of the memory was just so unbearable.

"That was him that could read mind's wasn't it" Noah said sounding angry

"Yes" I breathed

"Wow isn't it kind of embarrassing to have him read you're mind all the time, I would think it would be humiliating" Marie said

"Well I don't think that you and Bella are thinking on the exact same thing ether haha" Oliver said and kissed her on the cheek

"You don't know that haha" they both laughed at the thought of what was going on in my head when I was with ed.. him.

Hmmm I didn't think it was funny at all.

"okay it really isn't that funny" I said letting out the anger all though I didn't mean to, it was just the sadness slipping out in anger instead, and they were closest by. But I did also rather want to get angry then start crying in the middle of the cafeteria for every one to see.

"Sorry Bella we know you don't want to talk about them, so let's change the subject shall we" Marie said.

"I'm going into town tomorrow, you want to come with me? Cause oli hates to go shopping"

"Hmm funny so do I" I said smiling

"Oh okay then" Marie said and then made a heartbreaking face

"Alright I'll come, but am not trying on anything" I said underlying the last part

"Great! We're going to have so much fun" she practically screamed, I though for a second that I had gone deaf.

"Can't wait" I said sarcastic.

I came to think maybe all vampire girls just love to go shopping hmm that seemed likely.


	7. JACOB!

Chapter 7

Bella's point of view.

_Everything around me was green and the rain was poring down._

_I was standing on some muddy dirt in the woods waiting. I waited for hours but nobody came,_

_Suddenly I heard a voice but I couldn't see anyone._

"_I DON'T LOVE YOU" I kept saying_

"_No Edward don't leave me, please don't leave me" I cried and felt to the ground and laid there crying and getting mud all over my clothes and got all wet_

"_Please" I whispered and then closed my eyes and everything went black. _

I woke up screaming so loudly I was sure Charlie would come in and check on me, he didn't. He had gotten used to me waking up screaming at night.

I was crying loudly and screaming sometimes. I tried to get control over my crying but with no success.

Weeks had gone by and I had gotten closer and closer with Noah. We spent most of our time together.

I hadn't heard from Jacob in some time now, I had called two weeks I a row until he took it and told me he couldn't be my friend anymore, I didn't understand that. Why could he all the sudden not be my friend? I had cried for hours because of that.

But am not giving up, he can't just out of nowhere say that he just doesn't want to be my friend. Maybe it was because of that uley guy; Charlie said he'd been seeing them hang out a lot. Did he brainwash Jacob or something because he used to hate him. I would go to la push soon and talk to Jacob I needed a real reason, he can't just ditch me all the sudden.

I laid on the couch with Noah, we had just watched Wuthering height's on movie (though I prefer the book).

"So what did you think of the movie?" he asked and kissed my forehead.

"Hmm I prefer the book" I smiled at him and gave him a little kiss.

"Haha yeah I guessed that since you kept saying, it's all wrong, and said all the things they were missing"

"Well it was" I smiled he smiled back at me, our head's was only a few inches away from each other's when he suddenly get's up.

"Charlie alarm" he said and then laughed at he's own comment.

"Well I also need to go anyways"

"Why?" I said sounding like a little kid when they don't get their way.

"I need to go hunting. Don't worry I'll see you soon okay?"

"Yeah yeah" I said and then we had one last short kiss before Charlie walked in the door.

"Hi kid's"

"Hello Charlie" Noah said, Charlie didn't mind having Noah around, he was practically here anytime I was. He thought he way a nice guy.

"Hi dad" I said while walking Noah to the door.

"See you soon all right"

"Yep" I said, and he turned to he's car.

I walked up to my room and stood there for a while, not really knowing what to do, I was so bored. I decided it was time to write to René, she hadn't written in two days which was a record for her.

**Hi mom what's up are you dead or do my answers just bore you? :p just kidding.**

**There isn't happening much here. Lot's of raining but I guess you could have guessed that. Anyways write when you get the time.**

**Love Bella.**

Hmm what was I suppose to do now?

Then I got an idea. I took my car keys and ran down the stair's.

"Wow where is the fire?" Charlie said, I had nearly run right into him but I just managed to stop just in time.

"I'm going to la push see you later" I said and stormed out the door.

There were no way I was going to let Jacob give me such a lame excuse, _it's not you Bella it's me_ please that's the kind of thing you say when you're breaking up with you're girlfriend and it always mean that it is you that there is something wrong with and not him and I needed to know what I had done wrong.

I stopped in front of the little house and sat and waited, not much later Jacob knocked on my car window, I had a huge shock I thought he was going to break it.

"What do you want Bella" Jacob said with tensed eyes and with an angry and bitter voice. I steeped out of the truck and saw Sam uley standing in the door way.

"We need to talk" I said

"About?" he said through he's teeth he looked like he's was trying really hard not to yell at me.

"About you just ditching me all the sudden that's what's it about!!" I said getting angry.

"Fine! Then talk" he said while tensing he's knuckle's.

"ALONE please" I said when I was looking at that Sam uley guy (and I say he's name in disgust)

He looked over at Sam and he nodded to Jacob, then he went inside.

Jacob started walking and I was just trying to follow. He had grown insanely much since last time I saw him.

We walked into the start of the woods but you could still see the road.

"So what do you want to talk about" he seemed very tense and he's hands were shaking a little.

"Why can't we be friend's anymore Jake?" I asked sounding more pleading then angry.

"Because we just can't anymore" he hissed at me-

"Why, is it because of you're precious Sam" I said mockingly

"Don't blame Sam he's helping me as much as he can"

"Then who should I blame!" I was getting really sick of he's attitude now.

"You don't want to know"

"The hell I do. Tell me and tell me now!!!"

"Fine!!" he yelled right at me "if you want to blame anyone then why don't you blame you're repulsive bloodsuckers!" he yelled

I couldn't believe what he was saying. It felt like he had just stabbed me several times with a huge knife. And how did he know all of this anyways? how did he always know everything. He never used to believe in the stories Billy had told him, he thought it was just superstitious nonsense.

"I told you that you didn't want to know" he said shaking more now

"What.. Who are you talking about?"

"Oh I think you know exactly who am talking about, don't make me say their name"

"I don't know who you mean" I said again

"The _Cullen's_" he said it slowly and it felt like he was throwing knifes at me now.

"I can see what it does to you when I say their name"

I started shaking my head back and forth making me dizzy. How could he know this and what had this anything to do with Sam? Did they all just meet up to talk about how much they hated vampires or something?

"Don't tell me you started believing Billy's old stories now" I said in a mocking voice

"He knew more then I thought" he said strained

"Be serious please.. And why are you blaming the … Cullen's they left six month ago remember?"

"Yeah I remember"

"Then what are you blaming them for?"

He was suddenly all up in my face, anger radiating from him.

"For existing" he said through he's teeth

"This is ridiculous" I said

"Fine am not going to argue it with you… it doesn't matter anyways the damage is done"

"What damage!!!" I shouted right in he's face, he didn't flinch

"Let's go back there's nothing left to say" he said while walking away.

"There's everything to say!!! You haven't said anything!!" I yelled after him as loud as I could. He stopped by a tree with he's back to me.

"Why did this also have to happen to me" he said so low I barely heard it

He was standing and clutching the tree, it wasn't very thick.

"Jake am worried about you" I whispered

Anger filled he's facial expression and then he shot he's fist into the tree and it snapped in two letting the upper part fall down on the ground making a loud thump.

He looked at the tree in horror and then suddenly started walking.

"I have to get back" he said

I was jogging just to keep up with him.

"Back to Sam?" I said in a mocking tone, I just hated that guy so much.

"That's one way of looking at it" he said before walking in the house

"Wait!!" I called

"Bella I can't be you're friend okay, just please leave"

"But Jake you promised me you would always be there for me, and be my friend" I said starting to sob.

I could already feel the loneliness creeping up on me. Jake had come into my life in my darkest hour and shined for me. He was my personal sun, but now he's leaving me and I have to live in darkness forever.

"I'm sorry Bella" he's word's were so cold and if eyes could kill I would had been dead by now.

He walked into the house leaving me standing alone.

I went to my truck and started driving. I was sobbing all the way home.

I ran trough the door ignoring Charlie, he could hear I was crying and he was really bad in those situations so he left me alone. When I came into my room I went to the bed and as soon as I sat down I completely broke down.

**Thanks' for the reviews and telling me about the spelling, I hadn't even noticed I had done that. Maybe it's a little better to understand this time. **


	8. remember?

Chapter 8

Bella's point of view.

I had been crying for hours now. I had gotten home about 7p.m and it was now 3 a.m

In the morning. I hadn't eaten anything just cried and slept very little.

I couldn't believe what had just happened; he was supposed to be my best friend.

After _he_ left I was broken but Jacob came and glued me together, I wasn't perfect but I was better, but now it is like he has thrown me on the ground and jumped on me so I broke into a million pieces.

What have I done?

What's wrong with me?

Why do people keep leaving me?

Soon Noah's probably also leaving because he can see how broken beyond repair I am.

Soon I will be all alone when everybody get's tired of me and stop loving me, and won't be my friend anymore, won't have anything to do with me.

After crying so much I had gotten the biggest head ache.

I went downstairs to the kitchen and took some pills.

I was walking up the stairs with a glass of water in my hand, when I was about to inter my room I heard a noise coming from my window like someone was throwing rock's at it, I quickly went into my room to see what it was, I walked over to my window and saw Jake sitting in the tree in front of my house.

"Jake? What are you doing here?" I couldn't really see he's face from the darkness.

"Move aside Bella" he said while getting ready to jump in my window.

"What? Are you crazy? Jake you're going to get hurt"

"Just move"

I did as he said and walked over to sit on the end of the bed, to seconds after Jake jumped in and landed on he's feet, there were a little bumping noise.

"Why are you here Jacob?" I was confused why was he here? Wasn't it him that had just told me he couldn't be my friend?

"Bella we need to talk"

"And you couldn't just wait until tomorrow; it's in the middle of the night"

"No, Bella do you remember the first time we meet on the beach?"

"Yes of coarse" I only remembered that day for special reasons.

"Okay good, do you so also remember about the stories I told you?"

"Yes"

"The one with werewolf's and vampires?"'

"Yes, Jake what is this about?"

"Do you remember I said that quileutere's were descended from wolves?"

"Yeah So?"

"Think about it Bella, we are descended from wolf's and I all the sudden I can't be you're friend"

"Jake you're making no sense, just tell me"'

"I can't, just think"

I had no idea what he was talking about, why is he talking about wolves?

I took a sip of my water when I remembered the dream I had, the one where Jacob turns into a wolf. I swallowed the water hard so it made a noise. What was he saying? That he was a wolf?

"Jake what are you trying to say?" I asked with narrow eyes

"Don't you now yet?"

"What are you saying that you're a werewolf or what?"

"Yes" he said looking at me like he was expecting me to start screaming, I didn't know what to think or what to say, what do you say to that? Congratulations?

I think I went in to some state were you can't speak or hear anything else but you're thought's, you can only see. I took a while for me to snap out of it.

"Wow umm I don't really know what am suppose to say Jake"

"I totally understand if you never want to see me again" he said and ducked he's head, he looked so sad. I walked over and sat my glass down on the computer table and walked over to Jake and hugged him.

"Don't be an idiot Jake, you're my best friend and I love you" I stepped away from him to look him in the eyes, he was looking confused.

"So you _don't_ think I'm a freak?"

"Jake I'm not going to call you a freak, you're just umm unique"

"Yeah real unique when I turn into a gigantic wolf" he said sarcastic

I couldn't help it I just laughed, seriously how am I suppose to react? The thought of my sweet Jacob tuning into a gigantic wolf, I couldn't imaging that. The thought of him being a wolf didn't scare me much, I'm dating a vampire and have almost been killed by one before, I winced at the memory.

"Shh you're going to wake up Charlie"

"Oh right"

"But when I talked to you before you said that it was the…Cullen's-wince- fault why?"

He took a deep breath

"Because whenever there's a stinking bloodsucker around something just happens and things are sat in motion, so we start to grow like crazy and our temperature get's higher and higher and then if someone or something happens it just click's and then you're a wolf "he said with pure disgust.

"I really wish you wouldn't call them that" I said knowing that he was talking about _them_. I wonder if he knows that there still are vampire's in town.

"Sorry" he said coldly, not something he meant at all.

We talked about all the things we couldn't tell each other before, but I guess I felt asleep at some point cause when I woke up he was gone.


	9. the meadow

Chapter 9

Bella's point of view

Thing's was going good, Jake and I was best friend's again, and after a while Noah had accepted that I needed Jake in my life.

There had almost been a fight between them the first time Jake had come to my house and Noah was there but they managed to control them selves, we have made a schedule to when I would bee with Jake and when I would bee with Noah, just so there wouldn't happen anything, I thought the idea sounded kind of stupid but I guessed they were right.

Whenever I'm with Jake we never talk about anything that have something to do with vampires, same goes for when I'm with Noah we never talked about anything close to a wolf actually.

I had finally gotten my life back on track, I would only spend time at home on Sundays and Saturdays when Jake and I did our homework together, or when Noah and Marie and Oliver were out hunting and Jake had to do patrol, else I spend all my time in la push or at the Bendix's house.

But as much as I'll like to deny it, I still get nightmares and I still hate to be alone, cause whenever am alone I start to think about _them_, I don't want to, I just slip when I am left alone with my thoughts and that's when the pain begins.

The nights is the worsts, I try so hard not to think about them before I fall to sleep but the memories always show up in my mind and torture me before I fall into another horrible nightmare. But Noah has been great he has been really understanding and supportive of me, and Jake has also been there as much as he possibly could.

Charlie has been working a lot more then usual lately. There have been a lot of hikers gone missing, they think it's some giant bear because of the footprint the wolf pack is leaving but of coarse I couldn't tell him that.

I was walking down the stairs Jake would be here any minute now; it was Saturday so we did our homework together as always. Charlie was standing in the hallway putting on his police jacket.

"Are you going to work? I thought it was you're day off"

"Yeah but the station just called, another hiker has gone missing again" he took a deep breath and turned for the door

"I'll be home by dinner time"

"Oh, all right bye then"

"Bye" he seemed deep in thought when he walked out. I heard the cruiser drive away.

Weird how they kept disappearing, if it wasn't the wolf's which I knew it wasn't then what was it? Or worse who was it?

I didn't get to think it much over, because while I was thinking about it there was a knock on the door.

"Hey bells ready to do some stinking homework" he said and waved he's hand with he's books in it

"Yeah I guess I just don't really feel like doing homework right now"

"Well we could always just do it later"

"Okay cool. So what do you want to do then?"

He threw he's books on the dining table so there was a thud, he then looked at me an smiled hugely

"Want to go hiking? I really want to know where all those hikers are disappearing to, and besides with me there I doubt you'll be in any danger right"

I knew he was right, I wouldn't be in danger for any bear attacks or anything like that with a huge wolf by my side, and I really wanted to go to the meadow, I was thinking maybe if I saw the place where it all began I would get some closure, like it would be where it ended to, of course it could also end up as a horrible mistake and I would break down right in front of Jake, but I was going to take the chance. And of course I wouldn't tell Jake how I knew that place because I know he just wouldn't go with me then.

"Yeah all right, but you'll have to be patience with me I don't have as long legs as you do"

"Haha don't worry about it I promise I'll walk as slow as you do" he said and laughed, I gave him a mean stare and then walked into the hall to get my shoes and jacket on.

I stopped the truck in the little parking place and got out of the truck. Jake was standing and looking into the little road you could see that was leading longer into the woods

"Jake it's this way" I said and pointed my hand in the direction of the trees where there wasn't any road or anything just trees and dirt

"Sure you're not going to get lost? After all it's not like you can see the deferents between the trees" he said looking skeptically at me. I wouldn't ever forget the way to the meadow it was burned into my brain with all of the other memories I had that had been with him.

"I know where I'm going" I said promising.

After a lot of walking I could finally see the beginning of the clearing at the end of the trees.

"Come on Jake" I said and pulled in he's hand like and eager child and started running.

I walked out in the perfect rounded meadow I looked around to see it all and then all the memories I had kept hidden in my mind so much as I possibly could came swirling through my head, so many memories and emotions and thoughts I had had here was flickering in my head.

This was a bad idea after all, I could feel the tears coming and I would break down any moment now and Jake would have to be here and then he would be confused of why am crying all the sudden.

"Wow this place is amazing Bella" he said and looked around and smiled at the place. I was just standing looking down in the ground, if I looked up it all would just come back to me and I was trying really hard not to fall to the ground crying my heart out.

"Oh damn I forgot to tell Sam am not going patrolling tonight. I'll just go phase I'll only take a second all right?"

"all right" I said a tear had rolled down my cheek so I said it in such a low voice so he wouldn't notice I was crying, I was still looking down the ground when I heard him run past me and into the trees again. This was good, now I would have some time to get myself together again. I raised my head and dried of the tears with my hand but it was hit by another and another and before I knew it I was falling on my knees and crying.

Damn it why was I also so stupid! I just had to go here, aarh am such an idiot!

I was lying on the ground crying violently when I heard footsteps coming towards me, I didn't bother to look up and have another painful memory going through my mind.

"why are you crying Bella" the voice said, it wasn't Jacobs that would had been far more recognizing then this one but I had heard it before I was sure of it.


	10. uninspected

Chapter 10

Bella's point of view

"_why are you crying Bella" the voice said, it wasn't Jacobs that would had been far more recognizing then this one but I had heard it before I was sure of it._

He's voice sounded polite… and cold.

I looked up and saw a beautiful man standing in front of me, I knew him but it had been long since the last time I had seen him. The last time I had seen him was when James was trying to kill me. I got up to my feet and stood a little away from him.

"Laurent? What are you doing here?" I said and smiled at him while whipping away the tears. I was actually happy to see him because he was a memory from the past but weirdly enough it didn't hurt. He looked just the same as he did the last time.

"Well I could ask you the same" he smiled back at me

"well I live here, but weren't you with the Denali coven now?" after James and Victoria had gone hunting for me Laurent had gotten tired of the same old games and thought the Cullen's-wince- diet was interesting and decided to go live with the Denali coven that lived in Alaska.

"yes, but I wanted to visit Carlisle he has been so kind to me even though what happened with James and all, but when I got there the house was empty, did they move?"

"Yes" I said and looked down at the ground again

"Hmm interesting, why didn't you come? I thought you were like their pet or something" I looked up to glare at him when I noticed he really hadn't changed he still had crimson red eyes. Something in side me told me to be careful with what I said and lie if necessary

"They come to visit a lot though" I hated lying and saying this just made everything worse, I wanted them so badly to come back but if they couldn't I wish they would at least visit.

"Really? Cause when I was by the house it didn't smell like anybody had been there for a while" I had no idea what to reply to that, change the subject I thought.

"So how's the diet going? Must be hard after the normal one you had"

"Yes it is, very hard but sometimes I cheat" I automatically stepped back at that, he noticed because he took a bigger step towards me.

"Oh" I was frozen with fear now, Jacob could be in la push by now because of how fast he could run and I was left alone in the woods with a vampire.

"I feel sorry for you Bella"

"Why?"

"Cause unfortunately you've caught me in a bad time… I'm hunting" he took another step towards.

"See it as a good thing; I'll make it quick you won't feel a thing"

I gasped how could I see this as a good thing I was about to get killed!

"I..I... I don't understand why is this a good thing?"

"Well I actually also came as a favor for Victoria, she's pretty obsessed about killing you Bella. If you only knew the things she has planned for you" he said and shook his head.

"But don't worry I'll make it very painless but of course I won't tell her that"

He was about to take the last step towards me when a big black wolf leapt it self at him and four other gigantic wolves came out of the trees. The one wolf who had Laurent threw him towards the trees and a reddish brown wolf followed the black one. I could see a little of Laurent.

They were ripping him to pieces I could hear him scream in pain and the sound when they tore another part of him of, I stood in complete shock, what had just happened?

Laurent had finally stopped screaming and there was now total silence until all five wolves started howling in symphony it sounded like they were singing a victory song.

The reddish brown wolf ran into the woods and it only took a few seconds and then Jacob came back and walked over to me.

"Bella are you okay?" he looked worried

" I think so" I stuttered

"Thank god, you can't even leave you alone one second without you getting in danger"

I was still pretty shocked about what I had just witnessed so I didn't even glare at him for making jokes about me.

"Let's get you home" he said and took my arm and started walking towards the woods so fast I couldn't even follow him so I stumbled over my own feet, he quickly took me off the ground and carried me

"Jake I can walk you know"

"Yeah but this is faster" he seemed tense I couldn't really blame him thinking of what just happened but the worst was over right? I looked over he's shoulder and saw smoke coming from the meadow.

We didn't even walk very long before I could see my truck. I got in and started the engine

"Did you know that leech or was it just you're bad luck?"

"I did, but it was still my bad luck... doubled"

"What do you mean?"

"Well before he was about to kill me and all he said that Victoria had sent him and that she was obsessed with killing me" I shuddered at the thought

Thinking about Victoria gave me chills, her fire red hair and her wild eyes she was gorgeous but deadly.

"Who's Victoria?"

"You know what I told a while ago about what really happened in phoenix and why I ended in the hospital right?"

"Yeah" he spitted the word

"Well Victoria was James's mate and now she want revenge on me for getting him killed"

"Hmm well she can try, we can take her _easily_"

I really didn't like the thought of Jake going up against Victoria.

We arrived at my house and I got inside. Charlie was sitting in the living room watching the game.

"Hi dad"

"Hey bells I thought you were suppose to do homework today"

"Yeah but we didn't really feel like it"

"Oh all right" and then he turned he's head to look at the TV again.

I walked out to the kitchen and Jake followed.

"You should properly tell your leech about that Victoria person is out to get you so you can be protected when you're not with me"

"He has a name Jake" a glared at him

"Oh sorry" he said sarcastically

"I'll tell him tomorrow"

"Okay, I'm going to be patrolling around your house tonight, so if you see a big wolf then don't try to shoot it okay?" he laughed a little in the end. I couldn't even image myself with Charlie's gun in my hand's trying to shoot, so I let out a little laugh myself.

"Well I'm going to go home for a little while; I'm going to need to rest"

"Oh Jake I'm sorry for the trouble"

"It's fine bells, you really are a danger magnet aren't you" he said while walking over and opening the front door.

"Haha very funny"

"I think so. Well I'll see you very soon, bye"

"Bye" I closed the door after him and stood a little while in the hallway wondering what to do now. I was alone, well sort of you can't really count in Charlie he isn't really present when he's watching the game.

I walked up to my room and sat on my bed. I had absolutely nothing to do, nothing else to do then think. I slipped up and the first thing that came to my mind was the meadow where Edward was lying glittering in the sun.

I was the memory of the first time I had been there with him. It was like watching a movie. We were lying side by side in the middle of the meadow and I slowly came closer to he's head and then he suddenly flipped and started running everywhere.

I had been so scared at that moment but it quickly past.

Tears were falling down my cheeks and I suddenly felt really tired. The light from the window slowly faded as my eyelids started to close.

_Everything was green around me and the sun was shining. I was frozen in fear when Victoria was standing in front of me smiling devilish to me. _

_Her red fiery hair was shining in the sun and her skin was glittering like diamonds and her crimson red eyes were focusing on my. She gritted her teeth but in a blink of an eye a big wolf attacked her and they were fighting on the ground._

"_JAKE!" I yelled at him, he was getting him self killed Victoria is way to strong._

_But out of the trees a man stepped out, he was the most beautiful man I had ever seen, he was glittering in the sun creating a light around him. He walked towards me, and then I saw him. It was Edward so beautiful and perfect as always, but something was different about him, he wasn't smiling at all he looked angry. _

_He stopped in front of me and I looked him in the eyes and saw how deep red they were. He smirked at me in an evil way and then threw himself at me._

I woke up screaming and crying at the same time. I put my pillow up to my face so I wouldn't wake up Charlie even though I was pretty sure he was already awake from my loud screaming. I heard a wolf howl and I got up and looked out of my window.

It was completely dark except from the light that came from the full moon.

"Am alright Jake, just a nightmare" I whispered out the window, I knew he would be able to hear it. How long had I been asleep anyways? When I came home it wasn't more then 5 p.m. I looked at my alarm clock and the time was 2 a.m. wow how had I been able to sleep so long?

I laid back into my bed and tried to sleep but I just couldn't, so I went over and took my iPod that was lying on the computer table. I laid back into my bed and turned it on, another tear felt down when I heard the song lyrics.

_I'm not quite sure how to breathe without you here  
I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to say goodbye to all we were  
Be with me  
Stay with me  
Just for now  
Let the time decide  
When I won't need you_

My hand searches for your hand  
In a dark room  
I can't find you  
Help me  
Are you looking for me?

Can I feel anymore?  
Lie to me, I'm fading  
I can't drop you  
Tell me, I don't need you

My hand searches for your hand  
In a dark room  
I can't find you  
Help me  
Are you looking for me?

Etch this into my brain for me  
Tell me, how it's supposed to be  
Where everything will go  
And how I'll be without you by my side

My hand searches for your hand  
In a dark room  
I can't find you  
Help me  
Are you looking for me?

My hand searches for your hand  
in a dark room  
I can't find you  
Help me  
Are you looking for me?

Tears were falling the rest of the night while I was listening to depressing music, just trying to get through the night.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_Song- Hana pestle-need _


	11. sweet Dizziness

Chapter 11

Bella's point of view.

The sun was starting to rise. I was still sitting in my bed; I had been listening to music ever since I woke up from my nightmare.

I took a nice warm shower and put my clothes on and went downstairs. Charlie was just about to walk out of the door when he saw me coming down the stairs.

"Hey there bells, did you sleep well? You were out like a candle light when I came to check on you yesterday. You sure felt asleep early"

"Oh uhm yeah guess I was more worn out then I thought"

"Oh well teenagers sleeps a lot right"

"Uhm yeah guess so" except from apparently, I didn't get much sleep these days.

"Are you going fishing?"

"Yep, Harry and I are taking Billy out. I'll be home by dinner or so"

"All right, good luck"

"Thanks" he said while walking out the door.

Noah would bee here soon now so I didn't have to bee alone again thank god, because last night was just horrible.

After I had eaten I went up to my room, I was bored out of my mind. I turned the way to old computer on and waited for it to start.

I was sitting writing my homework when a knock came from the window, I had such a big shock I nearly felt of the chair.

I went over to open it and in came Noah.

"god Noah would you please use the door, you keep shocking me" I was a little mad at him because I told him several times to use the door, I didn't want him coming in at my window it was just to familiar.

He went over and tugged me in to he's chest.

"I'm sorry, really I won't do it again" he said and bent down and kissed my forehead. I instantly forgot that I was mad and bent my head up to kiss him, he bent down so our lips touched. It was a sweet kiss at first but then it got deeper. and more deeper, I started walking backwards till I hit the bed and felt down on it and Noah on top of me but we didn't break the kiss, I was gasping for air and then he tore he's lips away from mine and started kissing me down my neck and up to my jaw line. My heart was pounding so loud even I could hear it, it felt as if it was going to jump out of my chest at any minute. Noah started kissing my lips again and I was sure I was going to pas out any time now. All the sudden he became rigid and then rolled over to the side so he was lying besides me.

"What, what's wrong" I asked, had I done something wrong?

"Charlie is coming, I didn't even hear him come in the door" he smiled at the last part, knowing he properly hadn't noticed because he was a little occupied. I laughed a little at that to.

I quickly got of the bed and stood up my back against Noah and looking down I saw my shirt had been button up, I hadn't even noticed _that_. I was standing by the window and quickly closed my shirt again before Charlie would come in.

There was a knock on the door and Charlie appeared behind the door.

"Hey fishing got canceled Harry weren't feeling well and billy said he had a meeting to go to, so am just staying home"

"Okay" I didn't really know what to say I was feeling kind of irritated at him for coming home right now.

"Oh hey Noah didn't see you there" Noah was now sitting in a chair over in the corner.

"Hello Charlie" he smiled politely at him.

"Oh well I'll bee in the living room"

"All right" I said and then he closed the door. I felt back to the bed and groaned. In a blink of an eye Noah was sitting on the bed with me and laughing at the whole situation.

"Haha way to break the mood huh" I laughed at he's comment and threw a pillow at him.

"You don't say" he pulled me up to sit in he's lap and then kissed me lightly again. After a few seconds he pulled away.

"Better behave, don't want Charlie hating on me" he chuckled.

"Hmm suppose you're right" I wanted Charlie to leave so badly at that moment, I just wanted Noah. He weren't even close to be as safety paranoid as _him_, which I was very happy about.

My stomach started to make noises and I was suddenly feeling really hungry.

"let's go down to the kitchen and put some food in you, besides I don't think Charlie likes that we are up here where he doesn't know what we are doing" he let out a little laugh.

We walked out of the room and down to the kitchen.

**Its short I know but had to stop there because in the next chapter you're in for a surprise. Haha: p**


	12. jealousy

**Okay here's the next chapter, sorry for the wait but a had to go on a school trip to the other end of the country for a week and when I then finally came home my stupid computer had broken down so I had to go by a new one. But anyways enjoy :D**

Chapter 12

Edwards point of view.

7 months 5 days 3 hours and 33 seconds since the last time i had seen her.

I was going nut's thinking of Bella.

I hadn't moved from the floor I'd been laying on for weeks. I hadn't even been going out hunting for a while, so my throat was burning.

I decided it was time for a trip to the woods.

I was sitting in the woods thinking over my pathetic life and how stupid I had been for ever living the only love of my inhuman life.

"God! I'm such an idiot, Bella aren't safe with me but she is defiantly not safe by herself either" I thought to myself. I was mostly just coming up with reasons to go back to forks.

"I could just protect her from a distance" it came to me and I jumped to my feet already feeling better knowing I would see her soon.

I ran out of the woods and over to the parking lot to get my stolen car. I was usually driving really fast but this time I was driving so fast that everything around me just became a blur behind me.

I finally reached the airport. I ran a little too fast for a human to the counter where a woman dressed in a blue dress was sitting typing on the computer.

"Yeah hi, I need a one way ticket to Seattle" I said a little too fast so the lady needed a minute to catch up on what I just said.

"Uhh uum all right the next flight is first boarding in two hours" she stumbled over the words. I tried to block out her thoughts they were rather disgusting.

"Hmm okay I'll take it" I was really irritated that it would take two hours for the stupid flight to board.

I had been staring out of the window that shows the flights taking off and coming in when a voice came in the speaker saying that the flight to Seattle was boarding now. I was walking way to fast towards the gate, people split up so I could come through in fear I would walk into them and knock them over.

The flight was finally taking off. I was sitting beside a girl about my age well not technically but you know what I mean, she was with her family but ignoring them as much as possible she thought they wear really embarrassing.

She kept glancing at me when she thought I wouldn't see it, her thoughts were really starting to irritate me.

"_Hmm I wonder if he has a girlfriend hmm even if he has I don't care he's SO hot it's like not possible to be so god looking. I wonder if I can get he's number"_

I turned my head so I was looking out of the window and tried to block her thoughts.

The flight had landed and the flight people were standing by the door saying goodbye. I walked out quickly not bothering to even smile at them.

I was outside walking over towards the woods and when I was far enough away from the people I began to run, run as fast as I possibly could.

It didn't take too long before I was back in the small town. I was almost by Bella's house her scent was getting stronger and stronger. The trees were starting to disappear a little farther away and out of the trees I could see the white house I had missed so much to sneak into at night. I was standing by the end of the trees.

"I hope she can forgive me from being such an idiot for leaving I'll get down on my knees and beg for her forgiveness if that's what it takes" I thought to myself.

I walked over towards her house and jumped up so I was looking through her window but what I saw took me completely by surprise. Bella was standing with her body turned to the window but she didn't see me, she was buttoning up her shirt. I was temporarily gone looking at her ivory white beautiful chest. Suddenly Charlie came into view by the door.

"Hey fishing got canceled Harry weren't feeling well and Billy said he had a meeting to go to, so am just staying home" he said.

"Okay" Bella said, oh how I had missed her voice.

"Oh hey Noah didn't see you there" Charlie said and looked over to the corner where a guy was sitting in the chair I always sat in when I was watching Bella sleep.

"Hello Charlie" he said politely but I could hear in he's voice how bothered he was that Charlie decided to come home right now.

"Oh well I'll be in the living room" Charlie said and started walking out of the room.

"All right" Bella said. She felt down to the bed and Noah came over and sat beside her I instantly felt jealous.

"Way to break the mood huh" he said and laughed. There were just something off about him, that's when I really looked at him I had been so distracted by looking at Bella that I hadn't noticed this guy was pale white and he's eyes was topaz.

What is Bella doing with him? I left to protect her but live it to Bella to go find the next vampire and date him. When I thought about her dating him I felt like breaking down but I couldn't do that.

What am I going to do with this? I would have left right now and suffered in silence if it had just been any normal guy but no it had to be a vampire. I would get Bella back I was determined on it but of course if she would rather be with that Noah guy I would understand, 'I'm sure he haven't hurt her or left her like I had or lied like I have.

"You don't say" Bella said, he pulled up to sit in he's lap and kissed her. I wanted so badly to rip the window open and go in and push him off of her. I was filled with anger although I knew I wasn't allowed to be because Bella could be with whomever she wants'. He pulled away thankfully and said.

"We better behave, don't want Charlie hating on me" please don't tell me Charlie actually liked this guy.

"Hmm suppose you're right" Bella said her stomach growled and I could see the redness starting to fill her cheeks, oh how I had missed that.

"let's go down to the kitchen and put some food in you, besides I don't think Charlie likes that we are up here where he doesn't know what we are doing" he said aarg he bothered me so much. I knew I was jealous I could feel it in every bone in my body but I couldn't help he was with the love of my existence, my reason for still being here, Bella had my soul my heart my everything and without her I wouldn't be able to go on in eternal misery.

They walked down to the kitchen and I could hear them laughing and I could see Bella smile through that guy's thought's, it wasn't like her normal smile it wasn't as happy that made me worried why wasn't she happy?

I went back to the woods and started running towards my old house. When I was there I got inside. Everything looked the same not a single furniture had been touched in our absence.

I pulled out my cell phone a number.

"_Hello"_

"Hi it's me I'm back in fork's are you joining me?"


	13. in the shadow

Chapter 13.

Bella's point of view.

It was 9.30 pm time for Noah to go home.

"I'll see you tomorrow okay" he said while I was walking him to the door.

"yeah tomorrow, I can't wait to see you already" I said and gave him a kiss on the cheek cause Charlie was standing living room doorway to make sure Noah was leaving and at the same time still watch the game. It was like that every night he was here.

Noah chuckled at my comment and then walked out to he's car. I turned around to give Charlie the death stare but he was already walking into the living room again.

"Well I'm off to bed" I said while standing in the doorway and seeing Charlie in he's trance, he looked like a zombie when he watched the game.

"Yeah. All right. Night"

He waved he's hand, still looking at the TV.

I walked up to my room and changed into my worn out pajamas.

I got my iPod that was lying on the computer table and sat down in my bed to get comfy. I turned it on and the music started playing.

_I dream a lot, I know you say  
I've got to get away.  
"The world is not yours for the taking"  
Is all you ever say.  
I know I'm not the best for you,  
But promise that you'll stay.  
Cause if I watch you go,  
You'll see me wasting, you'll see me wasting away_

Cause today, you walked out of my life  
Cause today, your words felt like a knife  
I'm not living this life.

Goodbyes are meant for lonely people standing in the rain  
And no matter where I go it's always pouring all the same.  
These streets are filled with memories  
Both perfect and in pain  
And all I wanna do is love you  
_But I'm the only one to blame._

Cause today, you walked out of my life  
Cause today, your words felt like a knife  
I'm not living this life.

But what do I know, if you're leaving  
All you did was stop the bleeding.  
But these scars will stay forever,  
These scars will stay forever  
And these words they have no meaning  
If we cannot find the feeling  
That we held on to together  
Try your hardest to remember

Stay with me,  
Or watch me bleed,  
I need you just to breathe.

Cause today, you walked out of my life  
(Stay with me, or watch me bleed)  
Cause today, your words felt like a knife  
(I need you just to breathe.)  
I'm _not living this life._

The tears were falling. The lyrics just reminded far too much of the day my life ended, I know I know I have Noah now and he also means so much to me, but _he_ was my soul mate, my everything and he just crushed my heart into dust and blew it away like it was nothing. That thought turned my silent tears into a sob.

I was trying to catch my breath, it was hard from all the sobbing and my nose was completely stuffed now. I was looking at the tear that was on my hand when I heard a low noise coming from the shadow in the corner of my room.

I instantly froze, was it Victoria? Was she coming to kill me? I was terrified but a very little part of me was just happy to get rid of all the pain I had been suffering from the last seven months. I just hope she'll kill me fast and then leave, I don't hope she's going to kill Charlie to.

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**Uh ooh who could that be? Edward? Noah? Or Alice maybe or VICTORIA…**

**Oh yeah and sorry it's so short but I actually wrote it while I was in the middle of my math exam haha I was pretty bored :p **

_Song-like a knife-artist-secondhand serenade._


	14. my pounding heart

Chapter 14

Bella's point of view.

_I was looking at the tear that was on my hand when I heard a low noise coming from the shadow in the corner of my room. I instantly froze, was it Victoria? Was she coming to kill me? I was terrified but a very little part of me was just happy to get rid of all the pain I had been suffering from the last seven months. I just hope she'll kill me fast and then leave, I don't hope she's going to kill Charlie to._

I sat completely still in my bed fearing the worst. A person stepped closer to me and then I could see who it was. My heart was pounding like crazy I swear if it could it would jump out of my chest. One more step, another step and the last step. It was Edward he was in my room, but why?

I was still sitting in my bed looking up at him. He looked down at me, I couldn't really see he's face properly because of the dark but what I could see was he's beautiful topaz eyes, it was like they were shining in the dark, but they also looked tortured. There was complete silence; I could hear my own heart beating ten times faster than regular.

He wasn't saying anything he just stood there looking down at me. I felt really uncomfortable, why was he here? What was he doing in my room? Why had he come back to forks? Suddenly he felt down to he's knees in front of me and broke the silence.

"Bella" that was all he said then he looked down to the floor and shook he's head. He had sounded so tortured and miserable I couldn't understand it, any of this really.

"Bella am so sorry" he practically whispered while still looking at the floor. For what? For being here? Or for living me? I finally warmed out of my frozen state and said:

"For what Edward?" he looked up at me then.

"For living you Bella" he looked down at the floor again "that was the stupidest thing I have ever done" he whispered. Sadness came trough me, I must be dreaming he left me he said he didn't want me anymore he didn't love me.

I thought about that for a while Edward never looked up at me. I know I'm going to regret this when I wake up but I might as well take advantage of this dream while it's still here, he really looks real to.

I jumped out of my bed and hugged him as hard as I could. He raised he's head to look at me, I was so close to he's face that I could see how shocked he looked.

"Bella I" I stopped him from speaking anymore by pressing my lips to he's, it was a dream right so it didn't matter. He placed he's hand's on my cheeks and kissed me back fiercely. I knew I was running out of air now but I didn't want to break up the kiss, I would never want to leave these lips. I was gasping for air so he backed away. I was breathing heavily, trying to catch my breath.

"Oh Bella I've missed you so much" he said and pulled me into he's chest and hugged me.

"I miss you to Edward" I whispered against he's chest. This was a dream he weren't here. I was missing him so much that I dreamed about him coming back now, so I didn't say I had missed him because I still do. Edward backed away a little to look at me.

"Bella what do you mean you miss me to? Am here now" oh how I miss that beautiful velvet voice it was like he was singing the most heartbreaking song just when he was speaking.

"I know this is only a dream, it has to be. This would never happen, you would never come back for me in real life" he looked so hurt when I said the last part.

"Bella… this isn't a dream, I am really here" no no no! Stop believing it, it will just crush you when you wake up I thought to myself. I stepped away from him and sat down on the end of the bed my back to him. This had to be a dream because if it wasn't I was just losing my mind by Imagineering him here. Then again I don't remember ever feeling tired before any of this happened.

If this isn't a dream and he's really here… oh no this is both wonderful and horrible at the same time. I am with Noah now, oh no I kissed Edward, I guess somewhere deep inside my mind I knew all the time I really wasn't dreaming but Edward was here, that was just mind blowing so can you blame me for losing it. Edward was still sitting on he's knees by the side of my bed.

"Edward" I said with a shaky voice. "I.. I'm with somebody. I can't deal with this right now" I was confused I knew I still loved Edward, with all my heart, but I loved Noah too he was my savior.

"Do you want me to leave?" he sounded sad again. It almost broke my heart more than it already was, I wanted most of all to hold him but I needed time to think I needed time for myself.

I didn't answer he's question and after a couple of minute's I turned around to look at him but he wasn't there, he was already gone without me noticing. If I had the strength I would have cried but I was just too tired. I never wanted to hurt him but there is just so much one person can handle.

I laid down in my bed and my eyes were quickly feeling heavy. Then everything went dark.

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**What did you think of this chapter? I kept rewriting it I couldn't really decide what should happen.**

**Oh yeah and thanks for all the reviews and my fellow readers, I really appreciate all your comments.**

**I think I'll write one in Edward's point of view next time. Until then BYE :p **


	15. edwards Assumption help me!

**Really really important!!! I have no freaking idea how to set in a chapter sixteen it keeps saying you have reached the fifteen document limit. Please convert your existing documents to stories and/or chapters before uploading more. What the hell does that mean??? Is it just me being an idiot or what? Anyways am can't post more chapters until somebody tells me how to.**

Chapter 15

Edwards point of view.

It was starting to get late. I was sitting by the piano playing Bella's lullaby, I'd been doing that for hours now. I was just wasting time waiting and longing to see my Bella again. I would make Bella mine again, no matter what. I had called Alice to tell I was back in forks so now they were all on their way.

I couldn't take it anymore; I was longing to see Bella so much again, and just then a thought occurred to me, I could go see her in her room while she was sleeping just like old days. Of course I couldn't let her see me; I don't really know how she would react to me all the sudden standing in her room.

I was running so fast to my loves house and just when I thought I couldn't run any faster I remembered something about her and then I was running even faster.

I finally made it to the white house. I jumped silently in the window and went over to the rocking chair there were standing in the corner.

I was sitting as still as a statue watching Bella. She was so beautiful when she just sat there in her bed, but then again Bella is always beautiful. I really didn't like her music though; it reminded a lot about the day I regret more than anything.

Suddenly she started crying. Why was she crying? Why where my angel crying? Should I do something? Should I go over to her? I wanted to do that more than anything. I hated to see my Bella cry, but I couldn't just go over to her when she didn't even know I was there.

Before I knew it I had already taken a step towards her, I stopped myself and stood completely still again. Bella wasn't listening to music any more instead she was staring right at me. I felt panicking, she knew I was there but then why was she so scared then? She knew I would never hurt her, well not physically anyways.

But I never meant for Bella to get hurt because of me, I regret that day so much. I truly am a monster for having hurt something so sweet and innocent.

Bella looked like she had frozen over. What am I going to do? I was panicking by now. What if she gets really mad at me? I decided to take my chances. I took one more step towards her and one more and the last one. I was standing by her bedside and was looking down at her; she was so beautiful it was hurting me. Oh how I had missed that face. But when I looked more at her instead of just seeing her face I saw how frighten and uncomfortable she looked, that just broke me down and I felt to my knees. I was looking down at the floor now; she should not see the misery I felt.

"Bella" I felt like I was choking on the words so I just could not get them out.

"Bella, I am so sorry" I tried again but I hardly got the words out, it was only a whisper I was not sure if she even heard it.

"For what Edward?" my Bella's voice said, it was like music in my ears I have lived without that beautiful voice for so long now that when I heard it I was sure that there must be a heaven. Oh no I had to say that _word_; this was going to be hard.

"For living you Bella" arrh it was like acid on my tongue.

"That was the stupidest thing I have ever done" I whispered looking down at the floor again. I could feel my misery coming back and she should not see that.

She grew silent for a while, but then she jumped out of her bed and hugged me. What? Why is she doing that? Was it out of pity? I looked up at her not quite sure if my facial expression gave up how shocked I was.

"Bella" was all I could get out before she crushed her lips onto mine. I kissed her back as hard as I could without crushing her. Oh how I missed those lips and her delicious scent, I've missed everything about her.

I could hear how she was gasping for air so I reluctantly backed away.

"Oh Bella I've missed you so much" and pulled her into my chest and hugged her. I never wanted to let her go again.

"I miss you to Edward" she whispered. Why was she saying she missed me when I was right here?

"Bella what do you mean you miss me? I am here now" I was confused. Was it because she was going to ask me to leave again? That would be quite fair, although I would do anything I could to get her back.

"I know this is only a dream, you would never come back for me in real life" the words pained me more and more for each word she said.

"Bella…. This is not a dream, I am really here" I backed away from her to look her in the eyes. She let go of me and went over to sit at the end of her bed. I did not move I was frozen. She was living me now wasn't she? I could not blame her though; I had hurt her so much that I could understand if she never even wanted to see me again.

"… I am with somebody" her voice was shaking as she spoke. Yes she was with some other guy now but I would not let her. I was being selfish now yes but I loved her so much, I could not bear it if she chose him over me.

"Do you want me to leave?" the words stung me as I said them. I never wanted to leave her again, no I could never leave her again, that would kill me.

She did not answer she just sat still on her bed like she was in deep thought, I figured that was answer enough. She did not want to want me here anymore so I left. I jumped out of her window so fast her eyes would not see me. I needed to get away from there. I had been rejected from my only love. I guess what comes around goes around right?

I went into my house. I had already heard Alice, she was so happy to be back in forks so she could be with her best friend again.

"Hi Edward!" Alice yelled. Why could she not just leave me alone I was sure she had already seen what had happened. They all stared at me when I walked by them not even looking at them, but I saw my face in all their thoughts, they were all full of pity for me. I went into my room and sat down on the black couch and put my head in my hands. I could still hear my families thoughts, they all felt so sorry for me well except from rose she thought I was getting what I deserved, I actually agreed with her on that one.

I could not block out their thoughts, it was like they were screaming them to me. I needed something else to listen to so I don't have to feel even worse, first my love rejects me and then I have to listen to me family feeling sorry for me.

I pushed the stereo, I didn't know what song had been played last but I didn't care either, I just needed something to block out my family. The music started playing and I went and sat down on the black couch again.

_I wanna be  
next to you  
and watch you while you sleep_

_holding you  
lost inside  
every breath you breathe_

_i dont wanna live a day without you  
i just wanna be the one that makes you happy, happy  
i dont wanna live a day without you  
i just wanna be the one that makes you happy, happy_

_one minute more  
a thousand years  
it's all the same to me_

_cause i'm incomplete  
and i need you more  
with every breath i breathe_

_chorus_

_i try to let you know  
but my words get tangled up  
and every time i find that i'm  
outside looking in_

_can't let this moment go  
when you're the only one  
that makes me feel the way i feel inside_

_lately i'm falling for you  
lately i'm falling for you_

_chorus_

Yes, I wanted her to be happy it was so true but could she not be happy with me anymore? I listened to music for the rest of the night refusing to listen to my family's toughs. So... School should be interesting.

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**Yeah yeah yeah I know it took me awhile BUT I kind of also need to socialize once in a while :p**

**So what did you think about that chapter??? Tell me I want to know haha.**

**Did you notice Bella didn't actually reject Edward? he's just a little too fast. **

**Well until next time… BYE.**


	16. dreading the talk

**thanks for telling me how to move on from number fifteen :D**

* * *

Chapter 16

**Bella's point of view.**

I am a horrible, horrible person! Ever since Edward left my room I haven't been able to stop thinking about him even in my sleep, how I missed him and that kiss wow! And how I am just dying to be in he's embrace again. How can I be so mean to Noah, he has done nothing but to comfort and love me and I'm already ready to throw that away just to be with Edward. Today was going to be hard I knew that, having to sit with Noah but only centimeters away from Edward.

I walked down the stairs and out the door, I was so stressed out about today that I totally forgot about breakfast. I got into my truck and turned the engine on. The truck roared to life and I got a shock from the noise as usually.

I drove into the school parking lot and parked my car. When I got out someone stood behind me and started screaming.

"BELLA! I've missed you so much!" Alice screamed and then hugged me; I was surprised I wasn't deaf. Some people turned around to see what the screaming was for so I started blushing of course.

"I've missed you to Alice" I said while I pulled away from her.

"Oh god I'm am so so sorry that we ever left, I hate Edward for making me leave without even getting to say goodbye to you" she was speaking so fast that it was hard to catch up on what she was saying.

"So how are you? How have you been? What have you been up to?" all those questions at once were confusing to listen to.

"Alice, calm down okay" I chuckled "I'll tell you all about it later all right?"

"Okay yeeeh that means you'll come to our house after school right?" damn I didn't think that one trough, but then again I did really want to hang out with Alice.. That was all; I had to keep telling myself, that was all.

"Yeah, sure. Well I'll better get to class now. See you later Alice"

She was staring blankly for a minute and then she snickered a little.

"Yep I'll see you later" she said in a weird voice. I wonder what she had seen.

I got into my biology class and sat down by my regular chair. The teacher hadn't come in yet so I started to draw, but I didn't really notice what I was drawing I was too wrapped up in my thoughts.

What on earth am I going to do with all of this? I want to be with Edward but I also want Noah… or was it just because I felt bad?

I got pulled out of my thoughts when I heard the chair beside me getting pulled out. I turned to face Noah but what I saw took me by surprise, all I could think about was Noah was going to get mad when he saw this. Edward was sitting beside me as he used to do. I stared at him surprised probably looking like an idiot.

"Hello" he said and smiled that dazzling smile he knew I couldn't resist. I was temporarily in a coma because of that _smile_, when I finally snapped out of it and then all I could think about was how Noah was going to react to Edward sitting there.

"Noah is going to kill you" I just said, I didn't really know what to say at that moment because I was still just healing from my coma.

He just laughed and waved with he's hand like it was nothing.

The class begun and I started wondering where Noah was. Was he hunting? Could be but then why didn't he tell me he wouldn't come to school?

"Bella we need to talk" Edward said and looked intensely at me.

I just nodded my head. I was dreading that, having to talk about us, who knows what there is going to be said.

"You too! Stop talking. That especially goes for you miss swan, this isn't the first time you have been speaking while I am trying to teach" the teacher was pointing at me with he's finger. I could feel my cheeks burning. god that was so embarrassing.

"Yes Mr. Banner" I said and looked down at my papers. He walked back to he's desk and continued with he's teaching.

"So he's getting you in trouble to" Edward said so low I didn't think it was meant for me to hear it.

The hour finally ended. It had felt nice being so close to Edward again, but at the same time I couldn't shake of the guilt I felt. I quickly walked out of the classroom-on my way to the cafeteria when I started wondering-would Marie and Oliver be in school if Noah wasn't?

I was walking as fast as I could down the hallway without tripping. I knew Edward was walking right behind me but I didn't stop, I felt horrible already for having kissed Edward-even though I haven't wanted to do anything else in seven month more than that- but I felt really guilty and I didn't want Marie and Oliver to see me drooling over him-that would just make everything worse if I lost them as a friend. And I especially didn't want to talk to Edward right now because then he would probably want to have that talk now, but I weren't ready for it. I know I have to choose one of them but should I not let Noah know about them being back first?

I walked into the cafeteria and looked over to the table where I usually sat with Noah, Marie and Oliver but the table was empty, I felt disappointment and relief at the same time. Relief because then I wouldn't have to have the talk with Noah about our relationship and disappointment because I love spending time with them, and because this mean I would have to sit with Jessica and Angela and mike. I had completely stopped sitting with them except from when the Bendix weren't in school.

I knew I would have to listen to all of Jessica's annoying questions, I could already see what she was going to say:

"omg Bella the Cullen's is back, do this means you're going to get back with Edward? How do you think you're boyfriend is going to take this?" yes, the questions really were writing themselves, but the worst part is I didn't have an answer to any of them.

I was about to walk over to the table to get all the questions over with but just as I was walking over to jess and the others Alice came to me side and took my hand and started pulling me towards their table.

"What are you doing Bella? You have to sit with us I haven't seen you in ages" oh no! I was getting more panicked for every step I took towards their table. I looked over to where jess were sitting-she looked irritated, probably because she couldn't ask me all her annoying questions. I guess that was really the only good thing about having to sit at the Cullen table.

It was only Alice and Edward that sat there because Rosalie and Emmet and jasper had graduated last year, so this just made it all worse!

I sat down at on the chair and looked at the apple and lemonade I had bought for lunch-I rather wanted to keep looking at that then look up at this moment. There was a really awkward silence. I took a bite of my apple so I didn't have to say anything for a while.

"Edward, Bella is coming to our house after school, isn't it great?" Alice beamed.

"Yes, it is" he smiled he's crooked smile at me. "Esme and Carlisle will be very happy to see you again"

I didn't answer I just smiled and took another bite of my apple. Oh god I am not looking forward to what is coming for me today, yes I am glad that I am going see Esme and Carlisle again but it's the other thing I fear. I have to choose. It's just… I don't know if I can.


	17. noah's surprise

**Omg that took soooo long. I've just been so lazy haha. But anyways here's next chapter. Enjoy :D**

Chapter 17

**Noah's point of view.**

I had been out for a run alone I needed some time to think. I can't believe those idiot Cullen's are back in town. I was on my way to the house when I heard Marie's yelling.

"I CAN'T BELIVE YOU. ARE YOU ON THEIR SIDE NOW OR WHAT? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ERASE ALL OF THEIR MEMORY'S OF BELLA?" arh great they are arguing about something that doesn't even have anything to do with them.

"Because baby, I can't just erase their memory's just because you don't like them" he was talking in a soothing voice- no doubt trying to calm Marie down.

"Don't you baby me! You're such an ass!!" the word's that come out of that girl's mouth. I was by the door now and was about to open it when Marie came storming out.

"Marie, where you going?" I asked hoping she wouldn't do something- stupid like going over to the Cullen's.

"I am going hunting" she turned her head to look into the house and then said "ALONE"

"All right. Just… don't do something stupid all right?"

"What are you talking about? Get out of my way" she pushed me and then ran in vampire speed out to the woods. I walked in where Oliver was sitting in the couch and dropped down in the chair.

"Why are you guy's fighting because of the Cullen's is back?" I was still a little pissed myself but apparently am the only one that is being grown up about it.

"Dude, I don't know what the hell happened to her- she just totally freaked out. And then she wanted me to use my power on them so they never will know Bella again. I mean, I know how good friends they have become but she's being hysterical right? Just because they are back doesn't mean that there is going to happen anything right?" god I hope not.

"No, why should there right. Bella's with me now"

"Yeah just like I told her"

"Yeah" I said. What if this does changes everything- will she get back with him?

"You know, I think I'll go talk with Marie- get her to cool down, you know" I stood up from the chair and walked over to the door

"All right…. Can you tell her I am sorry?" Oliver loves Marie so much that at times it's just nauseating.

"Shall do" I said and ran out to the woods.

I was running through the trees trying to catch Marie's scent. I took a big sniff through my nose and I smelled her, but something else too. I ran north and came to an abrupt stop when I saw her. There she was sucking the life force out of a pore hiker. I ran into her to try to make her stop. If we're lucky she didn't make to drain her completely.

"Marie what the hell!" I yelled at her. This is just not what I need right now! To take care of Marie's problem.

"I'm sorry I'm so, so sorry! I was out hunting when I caught her scent and you know I can't control myself then. Please don't be mad. Do you think she will be okay?" she pleaded with me.

"I can't blame you, I know you wouldn't be able to control yourself and that is why you shouldn't go hunting alone. I don't know if she will be okay only time will tell. Let's just take her home for now all right"

"Yeah all right. I don't hope Oliver is going to get angry with me" she said in a low voice.

We made it to the house and I ran in and laid the poor girl down on the couch in my room. Oliver came in and when he saw her he first looked shocked and then outraged.

"What the hell did you do!? I thought you were going to find Marie not go out and kill a human" I walked over to him and looked him in the eyes. I was starting to get really pissed of. the hole day has started out bad and now this! I frowned at him.

"Do I have red eyes Oliver?" I asked in a hard voice doing my best not to start screaming and breaking everything and everyone.

"Um no" It took him some time to figure it out. "Holy shit... Marie!!!" he yelled and stormed out of the room. Oh fantastic now I has to listen to them again. I just couldn't take it anymore I needed to go somewhere to break something to get this anger out. I stormed out of the house barely hearing what they were yelling at now. I took off running through the trees. The wind blew up in my face and I took a nice big breath- oh yeah I needed that. This sucks now I can't even go see Bella. I took another big breath and then started running as fast as I could. I seriously needed to think.


End file.
